In Memory of Savanna Dawn Bogue!!! Happy First Birthday Sweet Angel!!!

Today we are honoring Savanna on her first birthday. Savanna went to be with Jesus at 7 1/2 months old and we are celebrating her today!!! I have been very touched by Savanna and a few other babies whose moms' blogs I follow. Today I wanted to let Tabatha know what Savanna means to me and my family now. I sat my little boy Landon down this morning and told him that we were going to send a Balloon to Heaven so Savanna could get it. I told him that Savanna was with Jesus and she was having the best Birthday party ever. He said with Jesus mommy? I said yeah baby, Jesus loves us and he takes care of us and we are supposed to love him back. Through Tabatha's, Savanna's mom, story I have grown to love Savanna. I feel like I have known her all of her life. Thank you Tabatha for sharing Savanna with us. She has helped me become a better mommy and you have showed me that we need to cherish every single moment that we have with our babies. We are not promised tomorrow. (The good thing is: we know who holds tomorrow and He holds our hand.) Savanna was a beautiful little girl with a smile that would take your breath away. Just looking at her smile, makes me smile. You can see pictures of her on Tabatha's blog: Savanna's Wings- http://www.savannaswings.blogspot.com/. When we went out to release the balloon for Savanna, we all said Happy Birthday Savanna and Landon started running after the balloon and was yelling Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday!!! Landon was so excited about sending a balloon to Savanna and about drawing her a picture. He was ready to go outside as soon as I told him. Below are a few pictures I wanted to share with everyone of our special moment with Savanna.

Savanna's Balloon

                                                  Landon getting ready to let the balloon go!!!

                                                                Running after the balloon!!!

                     Maddox trying to figure out what we were doing because we took the balloon away from him

 Happy Birthday Sweet Angel!!! Can't wait till we all get to celebrate it with you in Heaven. I know Maddie and Macie are celebrating with you!!!

                                                               Still watching the balloon!!!

                              Landon blew bubbles for Savanna too. He thought is was fun to run after them.

                                                     Landon's picture he made for Savanna!!!

After we got finished outside and went back into the house, I asked Landon whose birthday it was and he said Savanna. So then I asked why did we send the balloon to her in Heaven and he then asked... She's not home? I said no baby she is in Heaven. How do you explain to a 2 year old why Savanna isn't at home with her family celebrating her birthday? I didn't know what to say. I just told him that she was with Jesus and some more of her Angel friends. If you are reading this post today, please take a few minutes out of your day and say a prayer for Tabatha, Justin, and their family. Today is a hard day for them and they really need to be lifted up. I know we shouldn't cry when our babies or loved ones go to Heaven because they are in a better place but you still miss them, long for them, want to touch them, smell their baby scent or perfume, you just want them in your arms so bad. I know that they say that God needed them more but it still hurts. Praying for you Tabatha!!! You are in my thoughts today. Again I want to say  HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAVANNA!!! You have blessed my family more than you will ever know.

God's Plan And Purpose In Our Life

After reading a sweet friend's post, I began to think about what is God's plan and purpose for our life. We all know that God has a plan for us even before we leave our mother's womb. We often question why am I still here or why am I going through this trial again. Sometimes we feel like we can't get ahead because the enemy is constantly throwing up red flags in our way and when we are almost ahead, boom there it is another trial we have to face. The greatest thing about that trial is that when we have God in our lives, we are going to come out VICTORIOUS!!! We all know that we are here for a reason and for a purpose. God is the only one who knows the plans for our life so we need to pray, listen to His voice, and follow in whatever direction it is that He wants us to follow. One way we can do this is when we take a step let God take the next one and so on. Don't get ahead of God because if we do, sometimes we may lose our focus on what God is wanting us to do and doing what self wants to do. God will guide you every step of the way. Some people believe that they have no purpose in life but thats no true. Whoever you are—whatever your life experiences, talents, physical ability, or role—you have a purpose. People, letting the enemy talk to them and tell them that they are not loved, wanted, no reason for them to keep living, are the ones who end up ending their life before God is ready for it. Well I guess I shouldn't say that though because I truly believe that when its your time, you will go no matter if its in a car wreck or laying in bed asleep. For example, I have seen wrecks where people shouldn't have made it out alive and they did and then those that look like nothing really  happened are the ones who die. Crazy huh? Not really because that God's way of showing us that when He is ready for us, He will be the one to call us HOME!!!! God has his own way of getting our attention, and testing our faith. I believe that those who remain until the end, no matter what trial that may come their way or circumstances that they are going through are going to have a beautiful reward when they get to Heaven. The thing that is going to count in the end is that you remained FAITHFUL!!! If you just touch one soul that will be worth it all because that means one less soul that will die and go to Hell. In closing, I am going to encourage you to stay in this race until the very in. God did not promise us that it would be easy, He just promised us that He would be there and never leave us. I love this saying.... Don't tell us how big your storm is- Tell the storm how BIG OUR GOD IS!!!! I know a lot of us are heartbroken because we have lost our children. Some of us have lost them to Miscarriages, Stillborn, SIDS, SMARD, and so many other things but just know that if we don't have Jesus as our Savior, then we have no hope of ever seeing our babies again. So please my friends, don't give up. We have come to far and it won't be long until we see our BLESSED SAVIOR and loved ones. I love reading the blogs of some of my friends who still Praise Jesus no matter what has happened in our lives. The Bible says He will put no more on us than we can bare. What doesn't break us only makes us stronger and with GOD I am stronger. Love you all and praying for you!!! I have a few Bible Versus below and also a song for all of you to listen to.

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:1)

If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved (Romans 10:9-10)

The Spirit of God has made me, And the breath of the Almighty gives me life (Job 33:4)

For what is the hope of the hypocrite, Though he may gain much, If God takes away his life (job 27:8)

Trying To Find The Right Words To Say

Its been a few days since I posted something. I have been reading post that a few of my blog buddies have written and it got me to thinking about what could I say to them to help them. I pray for them each day and I know thats the best thing I could ever do but what words can I say to them or what scriptures can I give them. I have been praying, reading my Bible, and just searching for something to write. As I was looking I came across a poem that I want to share.

These words may be too small to read so I am going to write what it says....

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the LORD.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it:

"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied:

"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you

This is so true. When we are at our lowest points in our life, God is there to carry us through them. Praise God for that. Also I am going to attach some scriptures that may help.

“And He said unto me, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” II Corinthians 12:9

“The Lord is near to those who are broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

“Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of My Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 18:10

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4



I hope that the poem and the scriptures help you. I know that we always want to know the whys and don't understand them but God does know. He has a plan for each and everyone of our lives. Its through him that we find our strength. I am going to leave you with this. When we question God about the things he does like taking our children and wonder how He could do such a thing to us, we don' think about how He lost his Son too. He allowed his Son to die on the cross so that we could be forgiven for our sins and have eternal life in Heaven with him. Yes I am sure the reason he turned his head as Jesus hung on the cross was because if He would have watched, He would have changed his mind because of what his Son had to go through. I am leaving you with this:
"For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16

How great it feels to know that He loved us enough to sacrifice His own Son for us. Thank God for his LOVE!!!

“For You formed my inward parts, You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth, Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they were all written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.” Psalm 139:13-16

---

One Day Closer

Doesn't it excite you to know that we are that much closer to seeing our sweet Angels again. I will be so happy to know that my family will be complete then. My husband and I will have all of our babies with us and our grandparents who meant so much to us will get to meet our 2 boys that I here on Earth with us. I can't wait to see Jesus and see him holding all the little children. The Bible says that He loves the little children and that makes me feel comfort to know that he is taking care of my baby until I can get their. I want to try to do my very best to let my friends know that all they have to do is stay in the race until the very end and make Heaven our home so we can see our babies again. Just remember, God needed them more, because he had to have more precious Angels to fill Heaven. I bet if they could see us now that they would tell us wish you were here, its such a beautiful place. Another that excited me when I was reading my book was knowing that my grandparents will know by baby and know that he/she is their grandchild. I guess since my great-grandmother helped raise me while my mom and dad work, that she is getting her chance with my baby. She still has a part of me with her. Praying for all of you mommies who have lost your Angels. Just remember, keep Jesus first and don't give up because we are so close to getting to go Home to be our babies!!!

Angels Are Real

For those of you who have doubt about Angels being real, well I am here to tell you that they are. Grandmother passed away a few years ago. Everyone was so heartbroken because she died unexpectedly. After she passed away, my cousin moved in with Granddaddy and their Aunt because she needed someone with her. She has special needs and she was so upset when Grandmother died that she just needed someone there to help her through it. Well one night my cousins were in the living room watching a movie and they heard the door close so they looked down the hall to see what it was. All they could see was the back of someone who was wearing a night gown and had on slippers. They thought that it may have been their Aunt leaving the bathroom, heading back to bed because she started wearing Grandmother's slippers after she passed away so the went to the bedroom and the Aunt was still asleep. Then they went back to the living room to finish their movie and that was when Granddaddy came out of his room smiling saying that momma had come to see him. He always called Grandmother, momma. They asked what he was talking about and he said that she came in his room and talked to him and that she was really there. After Granddaddy telling them that , they knew who it was walking down the hall then, it was Grandmother, just letting them know that everything will be okay. If this doesn't let you know that Angel are real and that your loved one is your Guardian Angel who is watching over you, then I don't know what will. Also if you get a chance, you need to read the book, Heaven Is For Real. It is a great book and lets you see a little bit of what Heaven is like. I won't tell you anymore about it because I don't want to spoil it for you. So please read it if you get a chance. Its AWESOME!!!! I am so glad that I listened to Kellie and ordered tht book so I could read it. I saw the interview on it a while back but you know how you let things slip your mind and never think about it again until someone else brings it to your attention. I am so touched by the book and it helped me in so many ways. I am that much more excited about going to Heaven now!!! Like the song says...I've Never Been This Homesick Before!!!

In Memory of Maddie (An Angel Who Has Opened My Eyes)

I can remember last month when I first read the story about Maddie. The way I found Kellie's blog was through a friend because she was attending (Wear A Bow, In Honor Of Maddie). This caught my eye so I decided to click on Kellie's blog and that is when it all began. I can still remember reading Kellie's post and I began to cry and became heart broken for her because this was my sister (in Christ) that was hurting and broken inside. The Bible says that when we see our brother and sister in need or hurting that we should be there for them to lift them up. (That is scripture but this was put in my terms) . Maddie has really made a huge impact on my life. Seeing James and Kellie's love for Maddie just makes my heart swell. She was their life. Through Kellie and Maddie, I have learned to cherish every single moment that I have with my children because I am not promised tomorrow with them. Yes, I love my boys but there are times I just want a break. Maddox, my 6 month old, cries all the time because he wants to be held. I know some is from his Acid Reflux and the Colic that he had but most of it is just him being spoiled. I was in the process of just letting him cry to try to break him from it but Maddie, opened my eyes and showed me that is was okay to spoil him and to be thankful that I can still hold him. Also, Landon, my 2 yr old, is finally going through terrible 2's and its been horrible and I used to just yell at him all the time but now I just pick him up and tell him I love him just because and I do the same with Maddox. Anyway I could never thank Maddie enough for helping me. I know one thing, as soon as I get to Heaven, I will hunt her down and give her the biggest HUG for opening my eyes and making me become a better mommy. I can just see all of our (those of us who have an Angel in Heaven) kids up there playing together and saying look at them crying. Why are they so sad because we are in a better place. Wish you guys were here with us. Heaven is so Beautiful!!! Well back to the memory page, Kellie asked us to post pictures of our kids playing outside today. So in honor of Maddie, I have a few pictures to post. Thank you Maddie!!! You will never know how much you mean to me!!! I also want to thank Kellie for sharing Maddie's life with me so that I could see the love that she had also and so that I could have an eye opener.

We are forever Grateful for you Maddie!!! You will always hold a place in our hearts!!! Thanks for giving us beautiful weather so we could get out and enjoy the day in your honor!!!

Will Not Be Defeated

Today has been a stressful day. After getting up and down all night with Maddox because he has been running fever (I think from teething) and doesn't feel good, and on top of that Landon my 2 year old getting up twice (which is very unusual)in the middle of the night, I am really tired. I am the type of person that if I get 4 hours of sleep (straight and not interrupted) I am okay but if I get 4 hours of sleep (on and off like last night) I can't ever get going. Landon has a cold and has been running a low grade temperature for two days and now Maddox started last night and has had fever off and on all day. It seems like when the Tylenol and Motrin wear off then it comes back. So needless to say he is very whinny and wants to be held. I haven't been able to do anything but sit and hold him. This is hard because I have the two year old getting into things so I am constantly having to get on to him. I feel like all I am doing is yelling at him. Everytime I turn around he is yelling mommy  I want chocowant mik (chocolate milk), I'm hunnery (hungry) I stuck, I want juice, etc. or I hear Maddox crying because I had to put him down to help Landon. Landon is at the age now where he thinks if he says I sowry (I'm sorry), he can get out of trouble so that means he is trying to test us more lol. Anyway as my title says I will not be defeated. I know that its just the devil trying to keep me from going to church tonight and trying to get me down since I am trying to be there for others and encourage them. I have many friends on here and facebook that are going through some hard times right now and I have been trying to give them words of encouragement, praying for them, and reading my Bible to try to find scriptures that can help them as they are going through their trials. The devil sees that God is using my friends to get me back in my prayer closet and back in my Bible and he can't stand it. He gets mad if you just give one person a word of encouragement. Also he is mad because our Young Adults' Sunday School class is starting to go out and visit one night a week. Over the past 2-3 years I have had several preachers (some that know me and some that don't) tell me that God has a calling on my life and that I am running from it. Well I have started praying and seeking God to see what He wants me to do. I want to be a willing vessel for him and if that means letting others see Chirst shinning through me by being a good friend, doing youth rallies, planning events, what ever it may be, I am going to do it. The devil can try anything he wants but I refuse to be defeated. I have Christ on my side so VICTORY is mine. I love going around the house singing these songs when the devil is thinking, I have her where I want her. Let me just put one more obstacle in her way and surely she will fall. But then when I sing those songs to remind myself and the devil that I will not be defeated and that victory is mine, He has to flee. I am so glad that Satan can't cross the bloodline. Below youcan listen to the songs so you can sing them to if you need to be reminded that you will not be defeated.

This is not my favorite version of the song but the words are what matter the most!!! 

So Excited

I talked to a friend today about doing a pageant for the research of SIDS. I just met Robin this past month when I put Kelsey in a pageant she put on for St. Jude. After talking to Robin, I found out that she has also lost a child due to a miscarriage. It seems like miscarriages and SIDS is more popular then what we thought it was. Anyway she and I are going to get all the information from the SIDS website and then start putting the pageant together. I am so excited to be doing something to help a cause that hits close to home. I think this will also be a great way to spread the awareness of SIDS and Miscarriages. Thanks to all of my friends blogs that I follow, I am not able to do something that makes me feel better and it helps keep the memory of the baby I lost alive and also the memory of their Angels. I will let you know more about this when I get all the information together.

A Crown For A Cause

Today we got to participate in something really special. It was a pageant that donates to St. Jude. This was a really special pageant because it was in memory of Maddie, a little girl who passed away with cancer and who loved Western Wear. So in honor of Maddie, the girls modeled in their Western Wear and Maddie's mom got to chose the outfit that she thought Maddie would have liked best. It was so sweet to her mom taking pictures of every one of the girls in their Western Wear. I am honored to have been a part of this Great Cause!!! No, I do not have a girl, but I put my little God-Sister,Kelsey, in them. She is the daughter that I will never have since we only know how to have little boys lol!!! Don't get me wrong, I do love my boys, just can't put them in cute dresses and bows:( I hope everyone had a great day. Oh and Kelsey got 2nd Alternate, People's Choice, and Best Dressed!!!

What a Day

Today started off really early. We got up and went to Mobile for Maddox's 6 month check-up. He weighs 16 lbs and was 28 3/4 inches long. He is growing so fast. Sure wish I could slow time down. After his Doctor's appt we had to go shopping for Baby Shower Supplies and boy He hates to shop lol. When I got home, I went to pick up Landon from his Meme's house and he was so excited to see his baby brother. He saw the bandaids on Maddox's legs from his shots and he told him... Hey broder (brother) I sorrwey (sorry). How sweet it was to see how much he cares for his baby brother. I love to see the love that kids have for people. Tomorrow is another busy day for us. We have a pageant to go to. I am putting Kelsey (my lil God-sister) in one tomorrow so I better be getting off so I can go to bed. I am so tired. I don't think we will ever have another weekend off to just sit at home and relax. We have something to do every single weekend from here until the middle of April. Ready for a break :)

This is for all the Mommies who have lost a Precious Angel!!!

I'm An Angel Now

Author Unknown

One night I cried to Jesus
As I sat beneath the tree;
I looked up into the open sky
And hoped He'd answer me.

"I'm lost dear lord...
I've traveled far but still I seem to roam;
Please light the way and lead me, Lord,
I need to get back home."

I told him of my burdens
And of the sadness in my heart;
That from his gracious love
I'd never felt so far apart.

"Why did you take my child, Lord?
I cannot understand!
No longer can I touch her face
Or hold her tiny hand."

"I'm angry, Lord... I'm missing her,
I'm drowning in my sorrow;
Please help to heal my yesterday
And face each new tomorrow."

It was then I heard her gentle voice
And felt her presence near;
How I wanted so to hold her
As I cried another tear.

She said "Mommy, I'm an angel now,
My spirit will be free;
I'm an angel now in heaven,
So please don't cry for me."

"I was chosen by our Lord above
And now I'm in His care;
Whenever you need me,
Just look inside your heart;
I promise to be there."

"No one can ever take away
Our bond with one another:
For I'll always be your precious child,
As you will always be my mother."

"So if you cannot find your way
Or the road to home seems far;
Just look up to the Heavens
And I'll be your guiding star."

She said "Mommy, I'm an angel now,
My spirit will be free;
I'm an angel now in Heaven...
There's no need to cry for me."

One of the Scariest days of my life

About a year ago, my little boy Landon had a fever and it spiked . It was over 103.I can remember I was at the stove cooking supper and my husband said you are going to have to do something with him because he won't stop crying so I pick him up and he was burning up and I told him no wonder he is crying he is burning up with fever. That is when I checked it and it was over 103. I gave him some Motrin and my husband took him back and was rocking him in the chair and started hollering at me to get in there because something was wrong with Landon. WHen I got in there and saw him I told him he was having a seizure. (1st and only one he has had and I pray it stays that way) He started having a febrile seizure and on the way to the hospital he stopped breathing on us. I can remember my husband on the phone with On-star trying to get an ambulance to meet us but they couldn't get in touch with one. I can remember looking at him and he was turning blue and I can remember screaming, God please dont take my baby. I began to pray and cry out to God and then started to do CPR and as soon as I started praying, it was like his breath just came back into him. I am so thankful for the mighty God we serve and thankful that he hears our prayers. WHen we got to the hospital, he acted like nothing had ever happened to him other than he was crying from being scared and he was shaking from the fever. Now I am so scared that even if he has a fever that is just 99 I go ahead and give him Motrin to bring it down. I pray that I never have to relive that day again. And with me being a concerned mommy, I wanted to get another opinion because I didn't want this to happed again so we went to Mobile to Women's and Children and they told me the same thing and said that it may happen again and then again it may never happen again. It is something that can't be explained. Now look back on it, I think about how crazy and out of it I was. I left food on the stove cooking, I didn't have on any socks or shoes, and I had on a dress shirt with pj bottoms. I just left my shirt that I had on from work that day and started cooking. Derick didnt have anything but socks, I dont even think we had an ID on us. And when we got to the hospital, I tried calling my family to go turn my stove off so my house didn't burn down and to bring me shoes so I wouldnt catch anything from the Hospital and do you think anyone answered or was home? NOPE!!!! Thank God my neighbor was home and she went to my house to get mine and Derick's shoes and to turn off my stove. The amazing thing is that I know God was watching over us because I was frying eggs for supper and you know that they burn really fast but the eggs were not even cooked all the way. It was the most amazing thing ever because my burner was on high and my eggs looked like I had just put them on the stove. Now if that's not God love, then what is?

Potty Training

Sometimes I think that we are never going to potty train. I hav tried potty charts, toys, a potty that sings, etc. I am at the end of my rope. I have run out of ideas. Landon doesn't care if he uses the potty in his diaper or as he calls it (biaper). Someone even told me to put big boy underwear on him and he wouldn't potty in them. Well they were wrong lol. He used pottied (both)  in them and it didn't bother him. He was still running arounf playing and if I wouldnt have smelled him, I would have never known. So, that is why I am asking about any other ideas.

This is the potty chart we made. He knows if he gets 5 stickers, he gets a toy that we have on top of the fridge. He will tell you I need 5 stickers!!!

On the other hand, I love being a mommy to my boys. They teach me new things every day. I love to hear Landon say "pweez mommy" or " I don't yike it" "love you" and them Maddox and his little smile can make anyone's day better. He has the sweerest little smile and you get to see it a lot if he is being held lol. These are the things that help me make it through my day. I love my little family and I thank God for them.

Another Beautiful Day!!!

I woke up this morning and thanked God for blessing me with another beautiful day with my husband, children, and family. We got up, got dressed and went to church this morning. God is so great, and he is always on time. He showed up on the scene today and blessed so many. Without him, we would be nothing. I am still praying daily for my friends who are hurting. I am trusting God and I know that he will give each of them peace.
    My boys are growing up so fast. Landon amazes me each day with something else that he has learned. He started telling me the story of the three little pigs. Where he learned that from, I will never know. Maddox is getting bigger each and every day. Its like if I blink my eyes, I have missed out on so much. Sometimes I wish that we could slow time down but we can't. I love my babies so much and I am so thankful for them. I am looking forward to many more years of learning from them. They make me the person I am today and with help from God, I hope that I become an even better mommy and not just an ordinary mommy but a Christian mommy that teaches her children about Jesus, that my kids can look and me and see that I am a Christian. Please pray that I become the Best Christian Mommy ever and that I teach my kids right from wrong.

This is a picture of my family. Cousins that love each other so much!!!! Konnor, Maddox, Allison Jewel, and Landon

Thankful and Blessed

As I have been sitting here reading all the blogs from the people that I have been following, I begin to see how blessed I am. I just thought I had rough days in my life but I don't know what a hard time is when compared to what they have been through. My heart just hurts for them because they have either lost their babies or had miscarriages, etc. I am so thankful that God gave me two healthy babies. As I read the post from Bring the rain, Another Day Stronger, Savanna's wings, Gifts from Grace etc.; my heart cries out for these parents. I couldn't imagine the pain and hurt that they are facing and I pray that I never have to. Kellie, you opened my eyes to a lot of things. Maddox is around the same age as Maddie. He had colic and acid reflux and still has the acid reflux but he cries every single day but when you pick him up he stops crying. I was trying to break him of that but after reading your blogs, I have decided that he can just be spoiled because I am not guaranteed to have tomorrow with him. I pray for you guys daily. My hurt has been so heavy for all of you but with the help from God, I know that you guys are going to be stronger and you all have made me a better mommy from reading your post. Anyway back to me, I have had days that I just get so upset because I feel like the boys have gotten on my last nerve but I am trying to get better at that. Just having them here with me, makes me want to do better. You know we sometimes question God about how can we make it? I know I did before I had Maddox. I would tell people that I couldnt handle two kids close in age and that I wasn't ready but God saw it different from the way I did. He gave me Maddox and so with God's help I am able to make it from day to day. Are there some days when I just want to sit and cry when Maddox is crying and Landon is wanting me to do something with him? Yes, a lot of times I just have to sit and cry but I am thankful for the cries. Another thing that I have come to realize is that I would rather hear Maddox cry all day long every day and have Landon in things that he get in troublefor being in  because he knows that he isn't supposed to be in them, then to not have them at all. So I think I can handle living on the edge and having bad nerves. I love them with all my heart and I thank God for blessing me with them. I hope each and every person that reads this blog has a Blessed day. And remember this, If God brings you to it, He will brong you through it.
Crystal

Life is like a roller coaster

Derick and I started dating when I was 15 years old and he was 17 years old. Was our relationship always perfect? No, we had many up and downs. We dated for 8 years before we got married. I knew he was the one I was supposed to marry because I had been praying for a good Christian boyfriend and God sent him to me. We broke up a time or two but not for long because we knew that we loved each other and that we wanted to be together. We got married Dec 2, 2006 and that is when life really got fun. He graduated from the University of Alabama with a degree in Electrical Engineering in 2005 and I was still attending the University and majoring in Business. I receive my Associate's Degree in Business from Shelton State Community College in May of 2005 and was trying to finsh with my BS in Business. Little did I know that I wasn't going to finish school at The University of Alabama, Derick got offered a job that would be any man's dream come true. He is now empoyed by PowerSouth Energy Corp. I found a college to attend so I could finish up my degree but little did we know that we were going to have our first little bundle of joy. I got pregnant with Landon and I know he was a gift form God because he wasn't planned.  Having Landon was one of the greatest joys in our life but it did put me behind in school again. After I had Landon I started back to school and right when we thought things were getting back to normal, we found out we were expecting our second little bundle of joy, which was not planned either. I can remember the day that I found out just like it was yesterday. Landon and I were home by ourselves and I took the test and it said positive. I started crying and Landon didnt know what to think. He said whats wrong mommy? I just told him nothing then I called my cousin and was crying and she is like calm down, whats wrong and I told her that I was pregnant again and she told me it would be okay and that she was heading over. When she got to my house, I was still crying and she was like, it will be okay. And I can remember telling her that I didn't know how I was going to be able to tell Derick and she said well ( The reason why I will never forget this day is because it was on the day of the National Championship)if Alabama wins then he will be happy and you can tell him and if they lose, I dont know what to tell you lol. I was like we can't afford another baby right now, my nerves can't handle another baby, Landon is still my baby, but little did I know that everything happens for a reason. Telling Derick was the easiest part about it. He was so happy. I realized that God has a reason for everything. He gave me two healthy boys and he has been there to supply our needs. Yes Derick and I did lose our first child but God had a greater plan, He gave us two healthy boys who are our lives. We love them so much and I thank God for them daily.

Landon, Mommy, and Daddy ( I laid out by the pool and got burnt the day before I had him lol)
                                                                 June 26, 2008

Maddox and Mommy!!! September 3, 2010

Proud Big Brother!!!